It's OK to be Sad

It's OK to be sad.  It's OK to feel lonely. It's OK to be angry.  The Lord gives no injunctions against these emotions; he only says to "sin not."

When we don't acknowledge or even deny these emotions, and instead hyper-spiritualize a situation, we hinder God from being part of the reality of who we are.  When I encounter a situation that is sad, but tell myself that those emotions are some indication that I'm in some way outside of God's will and therefore his grace -- I deny him that unique and intimate place in my heart where he wants to dwell.

I'm learning, rather, to embrace these emotions and to invite my gracious and loving God right into the middle of them.

Take, for example, this pandemic situation.  I had been doing the "stiff upper lip" and "God's in control" thing for the past 6 weeks of distance learning.  As a teacher, it seemed like my workload (which was already quite significant) tripled as I revamped my entire curriculum for two schools to be in an online format instead of face-to-face.  Finding and correcting homework on my computer takes much more time than going through a pile of papers on my desk. I have been working hard and putting in more time in order to do well by my students, all the while ignoring the condition of my heart.

This morning I woke up feeling deeply sad.  Sad that I can't be with my adult children.  Sad that I can't be with my students.  Sad that so many are experiencing anxiety and stress and don't see hope.  Sad the the few places where people can connect have become places of contention.

So, I took a few moments to just sit and be sad.  And in that place, I was aware of the still small voice that said, "Now, this is real."  In that place of honest emotions, I acknowledged the presence of an honest God.  My emotions are not a hindrance but a place of meeting.  Sometimes, they are the "truest" place because they are more raw and unfiltered than my thoughts.

Yes, God's in control.  Yes, He has good plans.  But if I only view Him as the big God out there, I'll never encounter Him as the God of the Inside.  Yes, I believe that God is the wise and wonderful master strategist, but He's also the indwelling comforter.

Teaching from Home -- An Uncertain Adventure

Thoughts of a teacher during this coronavirus season ---

Once again, I can't sleep.  Not because I'm not tired -- in fact, I'm exhausted -- but because I have so many thoughts and emotions swirling around that it will take a while to quiet myself so that I can sleep.  What's keeping me up at night?  Not the state of the world, though it is pretty dire.  Nor concerns for my family's health and welfare because we're all good.  No, it's my job.

I'm a high school language arts teacher, and I've just finished my first week of teaching online.  Two weeks ago, the governor closed schools due to the COVID-19 outbreak for what was initially two weeks and, at this point, will probably be for the rest of the school year.  With a week's notice, all of us had to re-vamp our 4th quarter curriculum to be completely online.  And therein lies some of the trouble that is causing the sleepless nights.  We are fortunate at my school that we've used a number of web-based resources and many of us have used Google Classroom to one degree or another.  Going completely online, however, has presented multiple challenges:

• Learning to use a video conferencing platform.  One school where I teach is using Google Meet, and the other Zoom.  (Forgetting how one works because I've been using the other is a real struggle.)
• Determining what parts of my curriculum can be adapted to online learning, what parts need re-creating, and what parts should be eliminated all together requires a lot of strategic thinking and creativity, taxing an already tired brain.
• Choosing from the profusion of academic internet resources is daunting.  At what point do I continue the quest to find that snazzy website that would be perfect for my class or choose to stop, knowing that what I have so far will just have to be good enough?
• Planning thoroughly so that I can give students a clear-cut, straightforward plan for the rest of the quarter; this new online learning is going to be confusing, so a good plan should help all of us.
• Trying to come up with on-line lessons and learning opportunities that consider different learning modalities and abilities, varying home technology resources,  and differing degrees of confidence and abilities with technology.
• Communicating electronically results in an overflowing email inbox.  Video conferencing has to be succinct and efficient because we're squeezing them into short snippets of time due to a new schedule. 

The challenges listed above all deal with delivering my content and facilitating a quality learning experience for my students.  What I haven't been fully realizing were the tugs on my heart and the condition of my soul as a result of this sudden change from the classroom to a computer screen.  Tonight I realized how deeply I'm missing my students and my colleagues.  

I teach, not because I think my students won't have successful lives without a strong working knowledge of correct grammar and writing practices, but because I value personal connections with students who are reaching towards adulthood.  I work hard to get to know them and to communicate value -- and a great part of my communication with them are those informal conversations during the less structured times of the day.  I look them in the eyes; I pat them on the backs; I sit down at their desks.  I do whatever I can to connect.  A number of students I consciously carry in my heart -- students who concern me because of their school, family, or mental health challenges.  Students I often worry about.  When we're in the building, I can make those short connections that continue to let them know that I'm another adult who cares.  And that's just not going to happen in a 25-minute video conference call with 20 other people.  

I'm also missing my colleagues -- the teachers, paraprofessionals, and administrative staff who make my school an amazing place to work. Most days when I come into work, I usually walk through the open areas of the building to get a pulse on the mood and activity level of the school, and I often stop and "touch bases" with some of the other adults in the building.  These are men and women whom I value and respect and with whom I genuinely enjoy spending time.  They are not only exceptional educational  professionals, but also thoughtful and compassionate adults who care deeply about our community of learners.  Our 10 minute Google Meet check ins in the morning and afternoon don't come close to being satisfying connections.

In my preparations to revise my classes and become a competent online teacher, I was aware of a somewhat unconscious motivation to prove that, as an older teacher, I could do well with all of the technology.  But I hadn't realized that an underlying sadness was adding another degree of anxiety and stress. As I was putting my head on my pillow tonight, the realization that I was indeed missing my teacher friends and students brought tears to my eyes, which in turn brought some clarity to my struggle with this whole online teaching adventure.  

So if you think of teachers during this quarantine/shelter in place season, think kindly and with compassion.  They are reluctantly staying home, putting in extra hours, shouldering the responsibility of teaching children with unfamiliar resources, and missing the familiar companionship of their learning community.  Even though many teachers will present a confident and encouraging attitude, underneath they very well could be concerned about their own abilities, their students, and the outcomes of this uncertain adventure.

Fermented Juices (aka "Homemade Hooch")

At our house, we call the homemade soda that we make using a Ginger Bug "hooch."  It's not at all alcoholic, but "Hooch" sounds more fun than "Fermented Juice using a Ginger Bug."

Below are some of my favorite combinations.  I've been making these sodas with ginger bugs for a couple of years and have found that it is as much art as it is science.  Before you read my recipes, you might want to check out some of these websites for more thorough explanations and directions:
Papa's Homemade Hooch
Wellness Mama
A Life Unprocessed


White Grape and Lavender Soda
Lavender Simple Syrup:
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup lavender buds, rinsed
-- In a small saucepan, heat the water to boiling.  Lower heat and add the sugar, stirring to dissolve.  Add the lavender buds and simmer gently for 10 minutes.  Allow it to steep for 10 more minutes.  Strain out the buds using a fine, mesh strainer.  Cool the syrup to room temperature before mixing with the ginger bug.
For the soda:
-- Add the lavender simple syrup to 5 cups white grape juice and 2 cups distilled water.  Combined, your mixture should be 2 quarts.
-- Pour the juice mixture into glass or plastic bottles (See note below)
-- Add 1/2 cup of your ginger bug.
-- Cap the bottles and let sit for 1 - 3 days.  The stronger the ginger bug, the fewer days it will take to ferment.
(Note:  I like to use 2 liter pop bottles at this stage.  When the bottles become hard and cannot be squeezed, they are done.  Sometimes, I will put the fermenting soda in smaller pop bottles.  Some people like to use Grolsch-style bottles, but I don't want to risk exploding bottles. I have used glass bottles, but always put some of the mixture in a plastic bottle.  When the plastic is too hard to squeeze, the hooch is done.)



Rhubarb/Raspberry Soda
1 quart distilled water
1 quart frozen rhubarb
1 pint frozen rasberries
1 cup sugar
1/2 T. lemon juice
-- Place the above ingredients in a 2 quart pan and heat to boiling.  Reduce the heat and gently simmer for 20 minutes.  Strain the mixture, tossing the fruit and returning the syrup to the pan,  (At this point, I added a Raspberry & Hibiscus tea bag.)
-- When the syrup has cooled to room temperature, add 1 more quart of distilled water.
-- Pour the juice mixture into your bottle of choice.
-- Mix in 1/2 cup of your ginger bug.
-- Seal/cap the bootle(s) and wait 1 - 3 days until the plastic bottle is to too hard to squeeze.


Lemonade Soda
1 can frozen lemonade or limeade
Distilled water
-- Reconstitute the frozen lemonade according to the directions, using distilled water
-- Mix 6 cups of the reconstituted lemonade with 2 more cups of distilled water.
-- Add 1/2 cup of the ginger bug.
-- Bottle as per instructions for above recipes.


Be Creative!  You can make all kinds of simple syrups using fruits (fresh or frozen) or herbs and use them for the base of the soda.   You can also use any kind of frozen juice concentrate or bottled juice.  Since I'm looking for healthy drinks, I stay away from the "cocktail" mixtures or those with corn syrup.  One item of interest:  the sweetness of the base can be a challenging thing to get right.  Too sweet and the soda has a funky aftertaste.  Not enough sugar and it doesn't want to ferment.  So experiment.  And let me know if you come up with a winning combination.

What's a Ginger Bug?

A couple summers ago, I experimented making some ginger ale.  One recipe I found was a simple syrup with something fizzy (seltzer or mineral water) added. Other recipes used yeast (#1 and #2) The one with seltzer water seemed a little like cheating while the yeasty flavor of the others were not satisfactory.

More searching of the internet revealed what has become our favorite method for making ginger ale, which requires using a ginger bug. A ginger bug is a water/sugar/ginger mixture that becomes a natural lacto-fermented "starter."  (Lacto-fermentation is an anaerobic process during which friendly bacteria and yeast break down sugar to form lactic acid.)  The sugar and ginger attract wild yeasts and beneficial microorganisms, which in turn break down the sugar to produce carbon dioxide.  This carbon dioxide causes the fizziness in the soda.

Like commercial sodas, my fermented juices are bubbly and effervescent.  Unlike a Coke or Sprite or Dr. Pepper, they are good for me because of the fermentation and the ginger.  See some of my favorite recipes here:  Fermented Sodas (aka "Homemade Hooch").

I've not only continued making my ginger ale "hooch," but when I had loads of fresh vegetables this past summer, I fermented carrots, celery, zucchini, etc.  And, I've got a brewing station for kombucha in another corner of the kitchen.  For those who are curious ...

Health benefits of fermentation:
Fermentation preserves nutrients and breaks the down into more digestible forms.
Fermentation creates new nutrients, microbial cultures create B vitamins
Fermentation removes toxins in food
Fermented foods are rich in probiotics that promote healthy flora in the gut.
Some helpful websites:  Wellness Mama, Dr. David Williams, Cultures for Health

Health benefits of ginger:
Relieves nausea caused by illness or motion sensitivity
Reduces pain and inflammation
Inhibits rhinovirus, which can cause the common cold
Inhibits harmful bacteria
Helps prevent toxic effects of some cancer drugs

Some helpful sites: Mercola.com,  Everyday Health, and Natural Society.


Want to start your own ginger bug?  Here's how I do it:

Ginger Bug
Start with:
1 quart non-chlorinated water (chlorine will kill the yeasts and bacteria)
3 T. grated ginger root (organic if it's available)
3 T. sugar (organic if it's available)

-- Using a non-metal spoon, mix the water, sugar, and ginger in a glass quart jar.  Cover the jar with a coffee filter or breathable fabric; fasten with a rubber band.
-- Each day for the next 5 - 7 days, stir the mixture at least once and add 1 T. of grated ginger root and 1 T. of sugar.
(You can tell if the culture is active if there are bubbles forming around the top of the mixture and "fizzes" when stirred.  It will start to smell mildly yeasty.)
-- Once the ginger bug has cultured, it can be used as a starter for fermented sodas at the ratio of 1/4 cup ginger bug per quart of sweetened mixture.


Some important details to remember:
-- Never use metal.  Use glass for starting the ginger bug, and wooden or plastic spoons for stirring.
-- Never use chlorinated water.  I use distilled water.

My favorite resources from my ginger bug research:
Cultures for Health
Wellness Mama
Nourished Kitchen
Splendid Table

Summer Treat -- Coconut Ice Cream (non-dairy)

A few weeks back I made one of the best purchases at Goodwill -- a Cuisinart ice cream maker for $14.99.

Last year I tried some sorbet recipes and just put them in Ziploc bags in the freezer and set a timer for a series of 20 minute intervals for "smooshing" the bags.  The end product was OK, but I found myself longing for a real ice cream maker.  God heard the cry of my heart, and there was an ice cream maker calling my name for the shelf at the Lakeville Goodwill Center.

I've made vanilla and chocolate ice creams (recipes to follow), non-dairy coconut ice cream, and strawberry sorbet (using strawberries from my garden).  Below is the coconut ice cream recipe:





Coconut Ice Cream (Vegan)
from the Hungry Mouse website
2 (13 oz) cans of unsweetened coconut milk (not reduced fat)
1 3/4 cups sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon coconut extract

Combine completely the sugar with one can of the coconut milk.  Add the second can and the flavorings.  Chill for at least 4 hours.  (I chilled it over night.)
Process the mixture in the ice cream maker for 15 to 25 minutes, following the directions for your particular ice cream maker.

Freeze for an hour before serving.  Store in the freezer in a covered container.

Wine Slush Recipe

For that bottle of less than perfect wine or for the heat of summer ......

Sunday Night Worship