It's OK to be Sad

It's OK to be sad.  It's OK to feel lonely. It's OK to be angry.  The Lord gives no injunctions against these emotions; he only says to "sin not."

When we don't acknowledge or even deny these emotions, and instead hyper-spiritualize a situation, we hinder God from being part of the reality of who we are.  When I encounter a situation that is sad, but tell myself that those emotions are some indication that I'm in some way outside of God's will and therefore his grace -- I deny him that unique and intimate place in my heart where he wants to dwell.

I'm learning, rather, to embrace these emotions and to invite my gracious and loving God right into the middle of them.

Take, for example, this pandemic situation.  I had been doing the "stiff upper lip" and "God's in control" thing for the past 6 weeks of distance learning.  As a teacher, it seemed like my workload (which was already quite significant) tripled as I revamped my entire curriculum for two schools to be in an online format instead of face-to-face.  Finding and correcting homework on my computer takes much more time than going through a pile of papers on my desk. I have been working hard and putting in more time in order to do well by my students, all the while ignoring the condition of my heart.

This morning I woke up feeling deeply sad.  Sad that I can't be with my adult children.  Sad that I can't be with my students.  Sad that so many are experiencing anxiety and stress and don't see hope.  Sad the the few places where people can connect have become places of contention.

So, I took a few moments to just sit and be sad.  And in that place, I was aware of the still small voice that said, "Now, this is real."  In that place of honest emotions, I acknowledged the presence of an honest God.  My emotions are not a hindrance but a place of meeting.  Sometimes, they are the "truest" place because they are more raw and unfiltered than my thoughts.

Yes, God's in control.  Yes, He has good plans.  But if I only view Him as the big God out there, I'll never encounter Him as the God of the Inside.  Yes, I believe that God is the wise and wonderful master strategist, but He's also the indwelling comforter.

A Week of Encouragement

This may come as a surprise to some, but being a mom and a pastor’s wife can at times be frustrating and discouraging.  Not everything always goes as planned and sometimes things happen outside of a person’s control.  The chicken drops on the floor while you’re rushing out the door to get to a meeting.  A child calls complaining about a sibling while you’re in a prayer meeting for someone who is sick.  Yeah, mothering and pastoring aren’t always smooth sailing.

Recently, after a bout of difficult, frustrating, challenging, problematic, annoying, exasperating (well, you get the idea) situations I started crying out, whining and even demanding  God to show up with help and grace.  (Don’t worry, I know that God is not intimidated by my demands.)

I’ve often felt that God is just waiting for us to get really honest with where we are, how we feel about situations, and what’s going on deep inside our hearts.  As adults, we’re not much different from our children who act out in some troublemaking way while the real reason is that their feelings have been hurt.

God, in His gracious and tender-hearted way, heard and answered my prayers.  This week I’ve experienced daily tokens of His love and encouragements. 

Let me recount them:

Sunday:  Almost 4 hours of peace and quiet at home by myself while my family was elsewhere for the Vikings game.
Monday: A crisis of serious proportions with a computer was quickly solved by a good friend, saving us thousands of dollars.
Tuesday:  An encouraging meeting with the leadership team in which I could share some frustrations and heartaches and they listened with compassion and understanding.
Wednesday:  Someone who works with my kids at school told me that he thought they were incredible.  Does a mother’s heart wonders!
Thursday:  My lengthy breakfast-to-lunch date with my sister helped to fill my emotional tank.  Her generous birthday gift overwhelmed me.  And listening to my son be applauded after his piano performance raised that tank’s level a bit more.
Friday:  A FedEx package from my sister-in-law contained a fun and unusual gift.
Saturday:  After being gone all morning to a school board meeting, I came home to a sparkling clean kitchen bathrooms and living room prepared by my children.
Sunday:  The day’s not over …….

As I’ve recounted to myself these daily blessings, I’ve realized that God has handed me many blessings and specific gestures of love that I’ve missed.  That is probably why my “tank” go so low.  Ephesians 4: 30 talks about being “sealed with the Holy Spirit.”  God must need to do that because we leak so much.

My challenge to you:  be real with God about where you are and how you’re doing.  (You can’t fool Him; He knows anyway.) Be honest about what you really need.  Then wait.  You never know how He will choose to answer.