It's OK to be Sad

It's OK to be sad.  It's OK to feel lonely. It's OK to be angry.  The Lord gives no injunctions against these emotions; he only says to "sin not."

When we don't acknowledge or even deny these emotions, and instead hyper-spiritualize a situation, we hinder God from being part of the reality of who we are.  When I encounter a situation that is sad, but tell myself that those emotions are some indication that I'm in some way outside of God's will and therefore his grace -- I deny him that unique and intimate place in my heart where he wants to dwell.

I'm learning, rather, to embrace these emotions and to invite my gracious and loving God right into the middle of them.

Take, for example, this pandemic situation.  I had been doing the "stiff upper lip" and "God's in control" thing for the past 6 weeks of distance learning.  As a teacher, it seemed like my workload (which was already quite significant) tripled as I revamped my entire curriculum for two schools to be in an online format instead of face-to-face.  Finding and correcting homework on my computer takes much more time than going through a pile of papers on my desk. I have been working hard and putting in more time in order to do well by my students, all the while ignoring the condition of my heart.

This morning I woke up feeling deeply sad.  Sad that I can't be with my adult children.  Sad that I can't be with my students.  Sad that so many are experiencing anxiety and stress and don't see hope.  Sad the the few places where people can connect have become places of contention.

So, I took a few moments to just sit and be sad.  And in that place, I was aware of the still small voice that said, "Now, this is real."  In that place of honest emotions, I acknowledged the presence of an honest God.  My emotions are not a hindrance but a place of meeting.  Sometimes, they are the "truest" place because they are more raw and unfiltered than my thoughts.

Yes, God's in control.  Yes, He has good plans.  But if I only view Him as the big God out there, I'll never encounter Him as the God of the Inside.  Yes, I believe that God is the wise and wonderful master strategist, but He's also the indwelling comforter.