What's Refreshing

"Figure out what refreshes you, and do it on a regular basis."

Carole Thaxton

This is probably the wisest bit of homeschooling and mothering advice I've ever had. Carole Thaxton is one of the early homeschool gurus and co-wrote the KONOS curriculum with Jessica Hulcey. We were a few years into parenting and were just beginning our homeschooling journey when we heard her speak.

With 4 children in 5 years, I was an overly ambitious, perfectionistic mother destined to crash and burn . (Which is really God's method for teaching that living in my own strength isn't all that great!)

Many years and a few more children later, I'd occasionally found myself skirting the edge of a significant burn out. This bit of wisdom always echoes in the background. When I find myself in these hard spots it's usually because of 1) wrong thinking (perspectives, attitudes, anxieties) or 2) wrong doing (too much work, not the right work, no rest)

My challenge has been two-fold -- to find what really refreshes me and how can I find time to do it? TV demands no work and can be relaxing; it's rarely refreshing. Sometimes spending time with friends energizes me; other times it's exhausting. Working in my garden is a mixed bag. I love crawling in the dirt planting and weeding; I'm physically "toasted" at the end of a day.

Finding time is harder than finding something to do. I've taken 3 of my favorite activities (reading my Bible, reading anything else, and drinking coffee) and combined them for a little retreat from the demands of the day. As I'm hiding away at some coffee shop with my books, I'm refreshed and refueled.

What refreshes you?

Why 7?

A favorite professor of mine once said to me that when God told mankind to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth that I didn't have to do it all by myself.

There's a story behind our family's size:

When we were engaged we had our first unresolvable discussion (aka fight) while listening to a set of tapes on expectations and marriage. (Our pastor thought these would be good for us since we had only known each other 5 months.) This particular tape was on how many children we would like to have. I said, "4." Jim said, "2 and let's wait 5 - 6 years." I thought that he was hard-hearted and selfish. We put away the tapes and decided that God would give us grace and wisdom when the time came.

We'd been married a little over a year and were expecting our first child when we attended a Basic Youth Conflict Seminar and heard Bill Gothard talk about the value of a large family. I don't remember what he said, but I felt I heard the Lord say that "6" was our number! Ohmigosh! What was I going to say to my husband? Well, God was good enough to say the same thing to him.

So here we are with 7 children! When we were expecting our 6th, I heard the Lord say, "Six and a surprise." Now what was I going to tell my husband? Without intending to, we conceived another baby, but we miscarried her 4 months into the pregnancy. I told the Lord that I didn't like that surprise. Losing a baby was hard on all of us. My husband and the Lord wanted another. Thus, Emma!

Why blog?

"Why blog?" a good friend asked. Good question. With a bajillion bloggers out there, who's to say that anyone would ever stumble onto my mom-ly ramblings. One of my children was appalled that I was going to write one. "No Mom!" she moaned, "I don't want to be a blog child." Fair enough. So, why write?

When I was in high school, and people would ask what I wanted to do (assuming I'd grow up) and I would reply that I was going to write. In college, I was even more convinced that I wanted to write. Wasn't that what successful English majors did? Instead, I had a houseful of very literate children. For the past 20-plus years I've written piles of to do lists, lesson plans for every genre of literature and period of history, the occaisional Christmas letter and sporadic entries into my "memoirs."

"You should write a book," a curious young mom said to me one day. She herself couldn't comprehend my household of 7 homeschooled children. So I thought I'd try my hand at blogging. Perhaps in the context of this mix of little paragraphs I'll find the stuff of a book. If not, I'll have exercised my brain a little more, and that's a good thing.

Why 007 Mom?

The obvious reason for the "007" moniker is that I'm the mother of 7 marvelous and fascinating children: girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl! And I'm married to a "James," making me a Mrs. James (see the Bond and 007 connection?)

I've never aspired to Super Mom-dom, or even Soccer Mom-dom. I have too many children, not enough money to have my nails done, and am a recovering perfectionist (aka trying hard to be content with NOT getting it all done.) But something about the 007 mystic intrigues me. When my husband introduced me to the Bond movies, my practical side kicked in and said, "That can't happen! That's not for real!" when Roger Moore skipped across the water on alligator heads. I had to consciously engage my willing-suspension-of-disbelief abilities. After that, I was hooked. Apart from the gratuitous sex and violence, these movies are a hoot.

I've found that my ability to engage that willing-suspension-of-disbelief faculty (refer to your college lit. syllabus for a definition) has been a great boon for my parenting. Examples: You want to wear this pair of muddy jeans when??? That crash I heard was what? Your brother just ate what? You want me to have dinner for 30 when?? We have to pay how much for tuition?

Sure! No problem! When you're living in Tam's "007 World" anything is possible. Raising and homeschooling 7 children on a limited income, diminishing energy our and a certain dergree of cluelessness takes a lot of creativity and a certainty that the impossible is achieved if only in our imaginations.

Warmly,
Your neighborhood 007 Mom,
Tam