This Pun's for You

FOR LEXOPHILES ...  LOVERS OF WORDS

A friend sent this to me in an e-mail.  Rather than forward it to all of my known friends and relations, I'm posting it here so that even more of you can chuckle along with me.

Enjoy!

1.A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2.A will is a dead giveaway.
3.Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4.A backward poet writes inverse.
5.A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6.When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

7.The guy who fell on to an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

8.You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

9.He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

10.A calendar's days are numbered.

11.A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

12.A boiled egg is hard to beat.

13.Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

14.To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

15.The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

16.When the smog lifts in Los Angeles ….. U.C.L.A.

17.He had a photographic memory, which unfortunately was never developed.

18.The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

19.Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

20.When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

21.If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

22.In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

23.A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

24.When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

25.Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

26.Acupuncture: a jab well done.

27.A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

28.If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

29.A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
30.The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

31.If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

32.A plateau is a high form of flattery.

33.Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

34.Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

35.The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

36.A grenade that fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

37.I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

38.She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. (Aye!!!!)

39.With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

40.A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

41.No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
42.Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
43.A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
44.We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
45.A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
46.Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
47.I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
48.A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
49.A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

50.The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
51.Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
52.When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
53.Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
54.A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
55.Shotgun wedding – a case of wife or death.

Beautiful Minnesota

As part of the Midwest, we often think of Minnesota as a flat praire, full of fields and livestock.   If that's all you know of Minnesota, I encourage you to go North.  I've been a Minnesotan for almost 30 years (leaving the cornfields of Iowa for college and married life) and I love this state.  I love the extended prairie of the southwest portion of the state and the thick woods and lakes of central MN.  I love the bluffs of the river areas in the southeast.  According to an article:

About half of Minnesota is covered by the rolling plains left by the ice age. These areas are covered by fertile topsoil. Though some sections are sandy and stony, this area has some of the richest farmland in the United States.  Along the Mississippi River, in the southeastern section of the state, the land is relatively flat, cut by deep valleys created by fast flowing rivers and streams.  In southwestern Minnesota, glaciers left thick deposits of sand, gravel, and clay. This area is criss-crossed by many streams. The few flat areas make good farmland.

But my favorite place (almost in the whole world) is the North Shore along Lake Superior.  We try to get up there every year.  This same articles says of this area:

The northern part of Minnesota is the most rugged. The northeast section of the state has many rocky ridges and deep lakes and the area north of Lake Superior is the roughest and most isolated. Eagle Mountain, the highest point in Minnesota, is located north of Lake Superior. In the far northeast, the Minnesota border resembles an arrowhead. This area is called the Arrowhead Country.


The first video below is of the large falls near Grand Portage along Pigeon  River.  The DNR website says:  Torrents of wild water plummet 120 feet over the High Falls down to the Pigeon River in this park on the U.S. - Canadian border. The falls, the highest in the state, presented a serious obstacle to river travel, so a "carrying place," or portage, was necessary. American Indians created the ancient nine-mile trail from Lake Superior to bypass the falls. This trail became known as "The Grand Portage."

These second video is from the Temperance River.  It had rained all day, adding extra energy and mud to the river.  About this river:
The steep-gradient river has cut through the fractured, ancient lava flows of the river bed. Swirling water carried gravel and rocks which wore away the basalt and created large potholes. Over thousands of years, these potholes were dug deeper and wider, eventually connecting and creating the deep, narrow gorge.

I love these rivers and rock formations.  Whenever we go North I spend a lot of time just sitting and watching.  The sound of the racing water and the constant movement are mesmerizing.  It's hard to explain, but the noise and the movement are almost peaceful.  I find myself either thinking deeper thoughts, or no thoughts at all.  The rushing river flowing over the volcanic rocks draw me into a greater appreciation for my Creator and the strenght of His creation.

Praise God for the North Shore!

Watercolor Art

 Below is a watercolor my son completed for a visual arts class at ARTech.  It became part of a display at the Northfield Arts Guild's student show.

GWO Spring Concert

A favorite aspect of motherhood is watching your children grow, mature, and shine in their God-given gifts.  When they were really young, I spent a lot of time at the Little League softball and baseball fields.  As they grew older I attended concerts and art exhibits.

My son, Sean, plays in the Gustavus Wind Orchestra at Gustavus Adolphus College in St. Peter, MN.  As a member of the percussion section, he’s had a lot of opportunities at GAC to learn and play excellent music.  Since the college is only a short hour’s drive from our home, we’ve been able to hear him play a number of concerts.  All of the concerts that GWO performed this year were in the lovely Christ Chapel on the Gustavus campus.  I had a lot of quiet times in this chapel and am especially fond of the place.