Once again, we put in and took out the leaves in our kitchen table. We can seat 12 around this table, and there's nothing I like better. So when we have to take leaves out, I get a little sad.
Our German guests have gone home, the college kids are back in school, and the college graduates are settled into their jobs. That leaves only 3 children at home. I look at my smaller table and think, "Wait a minute! Didn't I have a bunch of kids so that we could have a full table?"
And yet, I didn't have a large family just so that I could test my large-batch recipes on someone. (I'm still thinking about the "why" of the large family.... get back to me on that...) I consciously raised my children with their adulthoods in mind. They are young children for such a short time. I really don't want them to live with me forever. I'm terribly proud of my responsible, wise and independent offspring.
Still, I think about them all the time. I miss them, and would be calling even more than I do except I don't want to overstep my boundaries with them. I'm enjoying watching them live their lives. I miss the days of snuggling on the couch and carrying them in my arms, but there is no way I want to go back there. A common phrase I hear from preachers & counselors is "your past is not your future."
So, I text them, send e-mails, make phone calls and send a Care package now and then. And I think about them a lot. (which translates into praying .....)